I’m not coming home until…

Filed under: Adventuring Overseas

I’m not coming back to Australia until the following things are sorted:

  • All crows (including Russell) are deported, made extinct, or removed from animal protection laws.
  • Parenting Education classes are made compulsory for all first-time Magpie parents. They need to learn that humans riding bikes along the road while they are nesting are not a threat.
  • Mosquitoes are replaced with slices of cheesecake. I know which of these I prefer more.
  • The Qld government grows some balls and/or brains and institutes daylight savings.
  • The Dams are at 75% capacity.
  • Snakes are afforded the same luxuries as crows.

I hope a lot of things change soon. If not, do you know of anyone who wants to buy a house in Aspley?

12 thoughts on “I’m not coming home until…

  1. Oh Bender, how could I forget your intense hatred of crows. Only time I see you getting violent tendencies… have fun with that.

  2. Ahh your love of your home country is really coming through. Maybe you and Gerry should migrate to the land of plenty instead? ;)

  3. Oh yeah, one more thing…

    I dare anyone to admit that they don’t agree with at least 4 out of those 5 points.

  4. Why do Ben and Michelle’s names display in bigger font and on the left? Is it because you’re more important that the rest of us? (secretly thinking: please let this comment magically display like the cool kids comments!)

  5. I’m definitely with you on the daylight savings point…

    And the mosquitos!! They are bad at the moment. As are flys. :-(

  6. Daylight savings is not the revolution that qld needs… Take it from a newly indicted New South Welsh man/woman. Time is how it is and dont mess with the qld sun. It can only lead to more cancer and less fornication…?

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